Research has proven that what we think and say to ourselves can affect how we feel, so it is obvious that what we think and say and do with our family, whether that be our children, grandchildren, siblings, aunties, uncles, cousins, parents, friends and even the fur babies, really can make a difference in all our lives.
Families are like a village, and as the old saying goes, ‘it takes a village to grow and nurture a child’.
There are leaders, workers, elders, new parents, and even misfits, everyone contributing in some way shape or form. With their skills, knowledge, love, hatred, opinions, culture, personality, traits, values, dreams, desires, the list goes on. There are even ones that don’t contribute and that has an impact.
No parent would deliberately want to bring up a sad or fearful child, so why is it that there are so many people we meet, so fearful to try new things? Especially children. FEAR after all, is only fantasied emotions appearing real.
Is it that our village is overrun with negativity from the media, our thoughts and actions?
Is it because we are trapped in our homes during a pandemic?
Is it because parents are too scared to let the children out of their sight? Maybe it is all the above. Maybe we have a calling to help people out of fear and into adventure.
This seems to attract those types of people around us.
Either way, it is time to share why we are so passionate about adventure and remaining as young at heart, for as long as we can.
Learning how to change the stories or situations you have lived through, will help you change the patterns or triggers holding you back from a life of joy, fun and adventure.
Joy is in you, keep believing in yourself, own your actions, learn from the past and trust in the future ahead of you.
Constantly hearing that my parents work hard to give you nice things, used to weigh on me heavily.
One story about a pair of shoes travelled with me until I was 50 years old.
The story begins when I was gifted a pair of black patent shoes as a 5-year-old. Being told all my life that these shoes were very expensive, and my Mum and Dad made sacrifices for these shoes. I had always felt that these shoes shaped my life and my beliefs around possessions, family, money and self-esteem.
Feeling like Cinderella, when I first slipped on my new shoes, I was proud and excited to be dressed up to go to the shops with my Mum.
The shoes glistened in the sun as I admired them on my tiny feet. Sitting on the front bench seat of the family car, next to my Mum, I was full of joy and so keen to get out of the car to walk in my new shoes.
What would people think?
What would people say?
The big green Valiant pulls up to a STOP in the car space of the shopping centre car park and I opened the door. It was right at that time my Mum decided she had not parked straight enough and began correcting her parking.
While the car was reversing, I hung onto the car door window frame as it was already open, I hung on tight for what seemed like minutes.
Once the car was parked, much straighter this time, Mum ran to the passenger side of the car and started screaming at me, “Look what you have done, your shoes are scratched, they are ruined, what will people say?”
Crying and not quite understanding how this was my fault, I fell to the ground and felt so ashamed of myself. “Get up you naughty girl, get up before you dirty your dress too.”
What will people think?
What will people say?
No shopping was being done that day, back into the car we got and all the way home I cried, thinking how bad I was, how silly I was, how disappointed my mum is with me and how naughty I was.
What will people think?
What will people say?
Looking down at my shiny shoes now, all scratched up, I wondered how I would wear these shoes ever again. The soles of the shoes were not worn out, they were strong, clean and like new. The little strap that crossed over my foot was secure and comfortable. The only thing out of place was those scratches in the brand-new shiny patent leather.
What will people think?
What will people say?
This is one of many stories I held onto for most of my life, until I took back my power and rewrote the stories.
This is now what happened that day.
Lisa was born to a very young Mum and Dad. Her Mum turned 16 in the August of 1969 and Lisa was born December 1969. Her father turned 20 one month earlier.
Her parents did their best at the time and were growing up together with their daughter. Learning as they went.
One day, Lisa’s Mum and Dad gave her a fabulous gift. A pair of black patent leather shoes.
Lisa and her Mum went on an adventure together and learnt a lot about each other.
Her Mum feared driving and was very nervous about parking. On arrival at a parking space one day, Lisa’s Mum carefully planned her first attempt at parking. Lisa believed her Mum had done such a fabulous job at parking, she opened the door without hesitation. Unfortunately, her Mum was not aware of Lisa’s confidence in her ability to park and started to correct her parking, so there was more room for Lisa to get out.
As soon as she noticed Lisa had already tried to get out of the car, she ran over and picked her up, dusted off her hands, knees and shoes and asked if she was okay.
Crying because her new shoes were all scuffed, her Mum cuddled her and said, “Lisa, they are only shoes sweetheart. You will learn in life that there will be lots of scuffs. As long as you feel supported and loved no matter what others may think of you, that is what is important. I will always see you as perfect and shiny. Let’s go home and have some fun with your new shoes on. Let’s not worry about what they look like, but instead let’s think about how they feel.”
These little shoes were so much more than scuffed. They saved Lisa’s life.
Because she was so attached to their beauty, she hung on for dear life. If she had worn open toe shoes or no shoes at all, she would never have had the opportunities that were presented to her later in life.
What will people think of that?
What will people say about that?
How you feel, is how you behave, knowing that life is full of unforgettable moments, that will scuff you up, is so enlightening.
Many times, we have heard, it is an inside job, meaning how you speak to yourself will determine how you feel.
In this case, depending on the story Lisa tells herself about that unforgettable moment, that day in the car park, she will either feel supported, happy, optimistic and enlightened or she can feel sad, helpless, overwhelmed and ashamed.
Does this have you thinking about what stories you are keeping alive?
How are these stories serving you?
What would be different in your life if you were to rewrite the script?
Everyone has a story to tell.
Some of us keep them locked away inside of us.
Others choose to share, so others can benefit from their life adventures.
Maybe you would like to change an unforgettable moment in your life. Maybe you would like to create some unforgettable moments to expand your normal zone.
This book may hold the key to your new thinking, communicating or it may even encourage you to have a better experience in life with your family.
Whatever the reason is for you picking up this book, we hope that it brings you joy.
We are grateful to have you onboard with us.
Maybe one day soon, we will meet you in person, that would make us very happy.
One way we support our clients is through our B.O.L.T. Methodology™
B - Believe What you believe is how you will behave.
O - Own Owning your actions without blaming others.
L - Learn The past has already happened, learn from it, stop living in it.
T - Trust Trusting that everything is happening for a reason, turning the story around will have you believing in a better version.
Could you benefit from learning more about the B.O.L.T Methodology™?